Every day, we encounter a new human being. This interaction can be as short as an accidental brush of the shoulders in a crowded lane or as deep and meaningful like a friend who sits and listens to you sob about a failed class or broken heart. All our encounters impact us in one way or another; some last longer than little moments and others last long seasons.
In my short life of twenty years, I have been blessed to have almost all sorts of encounters. Some of these have been positive, resulting in friendships that have surpassed the test of heartbreak, some have been neutral that have slowed down or sped up my day by a few minutes, and others have been negative and created pain and suffering in my otherwise happy life. The strange part about the last sort of encounters is that they have shown to me the indispensability of those people who have entered my life and stayed put through all three types. All these together have given birth to the girl I am today.
Often, I have mused about the worth of certain people in my life. This moment of reflection, I have noticed, creeps into almost everyone’s life at some point. It is expected that you will question some of the people in your life. After deliberation, sometimes in a dark lonely space within your own heart or sometimes with a friend, people decide whether or not someone deserves an allotment of time and space in their life. Some people pass these tests with flying colors, some are put on a sort of waiting list and others fail miserably. Those who outshine others in this examination are the ones who should stay and be the purpose of your life.
The last statement in the previous paragraph will surprise those who have known me well. I have chased good grades, success and recognition without flinching. It is now, after countless sleepless nights trying to ace that board exam, essays and, finally, admission into an ivy league, that I have realized what all that would have done for me in times of need. To cut to the chase, nothing much. Yes, satisfaction is something important and that only does come from hard work. But happiness, no. That elusive little sprite can only be captured in moments spent doing everything and nothing with loved ones. I think of those nights when my face looked like a surface marred by dirty streams of hot salty liquid and my eyes looked like angry black clouds, pregnant with torrential raindrops. In these moments, I did not fondly reminiscence about all the people I had left behind to reach this hallowed institution or the awards I had won in the process. What did get me through those dark, stormy nights into bright sunshine was a bond that I share with very few people. Those are the people who held my hand and walked with me as I tripped over painful barbed wires. These people touched me in ways that changed my life perspective so much so that they made me write that statement.
A few hours ago, I discussed these very things with a friend. This conversation, which was aborted due to the rude interruption of prior commitments, made me think more about life. It is true that life is more about the smiles and laughs you share with your confidantes than the trophies that adorn your living room. Those trophies won’t talk to you when you stumble home drunk, dirty and upset. The friend who lives few dorm rooms away might just walk over, grumpy and sleepy, and hold a plastic bag for you as you expel the unsavory night away into the abyss of an environmentally unfriendly bag.
As my friend walked away to her meeting, we decided to talk again later. I think it will be another long night as the English majors will stay up into the wee hours of the morning and argue about happiness and its existence, friendship and its importance. I might not win a prize for this debate, but I will definitely win something priceless – someone to hold a plastic bag as I throw up a sea of tears and unhappiness.
