He sat under the yew tree
The morning dew still clinging to his bare feet
The inconsiderate wind
Ruffled the letter in his hands
Warm tears running down his left cheek
Contrasted with the chill of the day so bleak
Five years ago she came into his life
Like a night star, she ignited the sad home
Her unsteady walk delighted one and all
Her rosy cheeks glowed like apples bright
A small frock adorned her little being
And a big smile her lips
She wrote him a letter when she was three
She promised him love and an apple tree
Said she’d pluck the fruit and give them to mamma
Far away in heaven, like the angel’s manna
Her bright red head tilted to the side as she smiled
Like her mamma gone away, possibly into the wild
Tucked under his arm,
He took her flying
Up in the air she would glide
Like a little dove
Safe in daddy’s hands, warm and strong
Away from the wind and the rain
He brought her pink and white candy
To see the gummy smile
And the little shriek as she saw the treat
Picking her up he’d tell her
She was mamma’s gift to daddy
To be with him forever
Through every winter and summer
One spring day they were by the lake
The dragonflies were abuzz, awake
The flowers smiled towards heaven
She counted the petals seven
They flew as she dropped them to the ground
Hoping one day they would be found
And mamma would come holding them
Like a flower, complete with a stem
How he wished she could know without pain
Her mamma was never to return
To this mortal plane
But silently he too yearned
For his beautiful wife, no mere plain Jane.
She had gone to the streams
And never come back home
He feared the worst when darkness burst through moon beams
And shed light on the sad garden gnome
It was still and silent like any other night
But he knew deep within something wasn’t right
When he didn’t see her bobbing kerosene light
In the near distance
He found her, broken and cut
Her feminine torn, her light put out
The raven locks that bounced with the smiling sun
Lay limp and wet, so sad and glum
The light gone out of her brown eyes
She stared at his face, emptiness a disguise
For the pain that had burnt her
Her smile, life just a blur
in his arms she lay
never to laugh, ever be gay.
The baby never knew
That daddy had gone out the next day
And shot a man where he was one
And then in the head again
Spat in his face twice and touched his wounds
To leave an impression of his blood
To know he had done right.
Autumn leaves were never the same
And the sun was never bright again
The baby was her only memory
Alive and healthy, her mamma’s sketch not made in a hurry
Her pretty little head he kidded every day
And promised himself he’d make her stay
Against His will if he had to
He wouldn’t loose the one thing he could cling on to
She grew everyday
Like a flower bud in happy May
Questions about life she was full to the brim
Her eyes hid a child’s secret, something grim
One couldn’t tell for she was mostly smiling
But something wasn’t okay for daddy’s darling
Then her cheeks got pinker and soon had a ring
A little circle that more red than benign pink.
Warmer she got as the days went by
Daddy’s smile couldn’t be seen anymore
His little angel lay in bed, red like a sore
How he hoped he could make her fly
Catch the butterflies with her
And bring her some yellow lilies
Watch her smile widen as she beheld nature’s lovelies.
Limp she grew
Her red hair fell out
Sickly and thin was the girl once plump and stout
Then they said she’d have to visit mamma
She seemed happy at first then
Realized daddy would stay behind on earth
Her weak smile went away
And instead came in death and decay.
That rainy day he buried her
Wrote out her epitaph and painted a yellow lily
He sat there until his clothes were drenched
And a feverish chill he felt spread
All over himself.
To the lonely home he went back
No one came running to grab his knees
There was no sound of princesses and fairies.
The fire had gone out.
The bed was cold, damp and old
A little doll smiled beside him
And then his eyes filled to the brim…
The morning came and he went out
To the bench under the yew tree
The letter in his hand felt heavy like lead
His wife was gone and now his little baby too
It seemed like they could have a family again
If only he had the courage.
And so he walked back up the winding road
In the cottage now forgotten and cold
He heard a happy squeal
And then a laugh and that inexplicable feel
Of warmth in this damp depressing
House. It was time to go, not one for over thinking.
Into the bedroom he went
And took a deep look as a last attempt
At trying to preserve a memory, a thought
Of this home that together they had bought.
But it mattered not anymore
For he was going to a place with much more in store
His baby girl and darling were waiting
There was no use in time’s wasting.
In the wooden drawers he found
The lethal thing he had used
when he had set things straight.
This was time, he thought
To let go of the bad and embrace what he sought
His baby and his and a dose of some bright light
In his dreary life.
With a smile he placed the heavy metal on his right temple
This was going to be simple
As he had imagined,
There was no pain and in a puff of smoke
He was with them again.
